Roxie and the Egg

So I’m sitting at my dining table this morning enjoying a tasty, low fat, low carb breakfast taco I made (yes, healthy can be yummy) and sipping on my low fat, low carb caramel macchiato. This is my usual fare, although I do stray occasionally and just have toast. Every once in a while when I’m feeling feisty I throw caution to the wind and make whole wheat blueberry pancakes.

Anyway, my trusty canine child, Roxie, is within arm’s length, longingly staring at me with her big beautiful brown eyes, just hoping that her silent but persistent appeal will move me to share a bit of my morning feast. “Just a bite, mommy?” I could swear I actually hear the words come from her mouth.

Though I always, always start off thinking no, this time I am going to stay strong – I inevitably give in. (Before you judge me, YOU spend five seconds with this cute little dog and I promise that you would crater, too.) So I give her just a tiny taste and send her on her way. But she is back in 10 seconds for more. I don’t always give in to her repeat requests, but occasionally if I’m feeling generous I will give her another sliver. I can’t help it, she’s so persistent and so adorable!

The whole process makes me think about how God sees me as I come before Him with sad, yearning eyes. As I persist to ask Him for just the tiniest piece of hope in my dark circumstances, I believe He is moved by His love and adoration for me and sometimes gives in because He just can’t help Himself. He so desires to see me light up and wag my tail with joy as He gives me good and beautiful gifts. “Just a bite, Father?” I could swear those are the words coming from my lips. And I swear I can hear Him replying back, “She’s so persistent. She’s so adorable!”

So I’ll keep staring and I’ll keep asking. Thanks, Roxie, for the reminder.

Timing

I like to think I can bust a move at times, but I don’t get the chance to get out and cut the rug as much as I’d like. Being from Texas, I think I learned to two-step before I could walk. Lately I’ve added some swing and salsa to my repertoire. Gotta love that Latin beat! (“Come on baby, do that conga…”)

There is something uniquely heavenly to me when my partner and I find our rhythm and begin to move almost effortlessly across the floor. One key to achieving this graceful flow is for me as the follower to learn to anticipate the leader’s timing. If he moves his hand ever slow slightly, or presses in a bit, I know we’re about to twirl or turn. So I relax my body but keep my grip so he can make his move and move me as well. The feeling is incredible. I could twirl and turn on the floor all night. But if I try to take the lead and move before he gives the signal, or tighten up too much once he does, our footwork gets off and our floating on air turns to crash and burn.

My relationship with God is the same. I’m learning to anticipate His signals. I’m learning to sense when He is about to turn or twirl me as He presses in through His word, circumstances, prayer or other people. That’s when I know to position myself for His movement.

Today, I stumbled over God a little. Not so much because I moved before He did, but I think I tightened up. Okay, well maybe I DID move a little too soon as well.

The music is still playing, so I’m back on the dance floor to pick up where we left off. God is such a patient and forgiving dance instructor. I may not ever make it on Dancing with the Stars, but my Partner and I dance among the stars in the sky. That’s much cooler than a TV show.

What If

How would my life be different if I truly believed God’s promises in Christ?
Believed He loves me unconditionally.
Believed He sees me without blemish or sin.
Believed nothing can separate me from His love.
Believed He has a plan to give me hope and a future.
Believed He knows the number of hairs on my head.
Believed He holds every tear I cry.
Believes He hears me when I call.
Believed He knew me and formed me in my mother’s womb.
Believed He has called me out and set me apart for His good purposes.
Believed His glory is bound up in my life.

I would worry less. I would trust more. I would talk less. I would pray more. I would purchase less. I would give more. I would envy less. I would love more. I would contemplate less. I would act more. I would hide less. I would dream more. I would care less. I would care more. I would want less. I would want more.

I want the “what if” to be what is.

Sorry for the next guy

As of late, my beautiful savior Jesus has captivated me even more than ever by His perfect, unswerving, unconditional love. I didn't think it was possible.

For some reason it has taken me 18 plus years of walking with Him to truly believe that NOTHING can separate me from His love. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. I am totally and utterly secure in that now. It is a love like I have never known.

So what does that mean for the next man who comes into my life? How can he possibly compare or compete? Well, he can't I guess. But here's some hope for the poor soul in a quote I've often heard (don't know the author): "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her." It's that simple. Not easy, but simple.

Still, you have to feel a little sorry for the next guy...

Wait for it

Express checkout lines. HOV lanes. Microwaves. High speed internet. Speed dating. Interstate expressways. We not only want what we want, we want it NOW.

Waiting is a lost art. Waiting requires stillness, listening, trusting, patience. Ah, patience. There’s a lesser known virtue of today. I’ve often wondered the reasons for my personal lack of this character trait. I believe the deficiency is a part of my human nature, while some is acquired as I allow modern day conveniences to speed up the delivery of my desires. Why is it so vital that I pick the fastest line at the bank or the grocery store? So what if I go a few blocks or miles out of the way because I missed my turn? What is the big deal? (Other than the cost of gasoline...)

The interesting thing about waiting is that there are often really amazing people and places to observe or experience in the lag time. Lately I’ve been trying to not just accept but cherish little delays and turn my attention to what treasures God might have for me in that moment. Sometimes I come across a restaurant or a shop or some other scenery I never knew was there. Sometimes it is as simple as God whispering to me how much He loves me or to pray for a friend or offer a smile or kind word to someone. Sometimes it’s a welcomed chance to take a few breaths in the middle of a hectic day.

As I continue to seek God in clarifying His direction in my life, I sense I’m on the cusp of something exciting. I have a foggy vision of where He and I are heading, but it’s still not completely clear. I so much want to jump ahead and make it happen, but I feel He has asked me to hold on a little longer as He goes ahead of me to prepare the calling and ready my heart. In the waiting I have felt so close to Him, so loved by Him, so taken care of by Him.

I would have missed a lot of great scenery if I would have chosen the expressway.